polygon_websitefandomcom-20200214-history
Brian David Gilbert
"Brian David Gilbert" is a Polygon Dot Com Video Producer. He hosts a show on Polygon's Youtube channel named "Unraveled." Early Life 'Brian' grew up on "everything Nintendo". He also collected all 151 original Pokemon and completed his Pokedex. It came at the horrific and tragic loss of Terry The Tangela to Kevin Punt who deserves jail time for this, according to 'Brian'. He claims that his first celebrity crush was on “the girl from spy kids 3d who wasn’t real.” 'Brian' used to play the trumpet, but then his band teacher said that in order to keep playing, he needed to practice for an hour every day. He did not want to do that so he quit. His childhood best friend was a piece of cardboard named Scrundler, with whom he was reunited on Week In Revue. 'Brian' did gymnastics as a kid and can jump pretty heckin’ high. He went to John Hopkins University and got his degree in Creative Writing. Personal life 'Brian' loves avocados and has Equinophobia (the fear of horses). 'Brian' currently lives in Brooklyn, New York with his roommates, "Jonah" and "Laura", and the level 63 Barbarian "cat" named "Zuko", who is a freeloader. Nothing bad has ever happened on his bed. Laura keeps asking for his beds "because they're such good beds," but she's allegedly not allowed near beds anymore, due to her habit of smoking cigars on beds. Please buy his bed. When 'Brian' is alone in his apartment, he can do anything. Furthermore, he can occasionally be seen not wearing pants while in said apartment. He will die on May 6th, 2030., probably by starvation, potentially causing him to become 'Dry Brian'. Fun Facts 'Brian' is a being of chaos. He's so powerful, not even a mythological being can stop him. 'Brian' has a fascination with jorts, getting excited when it is jort season and he gets to show them off. Queer Women just think he's neat. Queer Men have listened to Madam Zamporium's Wax Emporium an embarrassing amount of times Nonbinary people often look to 'Brian' as a sort of parental figure. He does not like being called a himbo, but Jenna does it anyways. He enjoys origami and baking some pie. 'Brian' was never supposed to escape the lab where he was created. He can hear all of our questions like we are angry gods sending him visions. Please stop. Can't you see him suffering? His Hubris is already going to be his undoing, leave him alone. ‘Brian’ likes to collect coins, and believes he can talk to plants. 'Brian' was in the running to play Waluigi in Nintendo's unannounced FMV (full motion video) Waluigi solo game. 'Brian' doesn't know what a marsupial is. Series/shows on Polygon Unraveled is a series in which 'Brian' chooses an aspect of a game or of gaming culture and dissects to absurd specificity. Gill and Gilbert was a weekly live show hosted by 'Brian' and Patrick, where they played games and did segments suggested by fans and made beautiful fools of themselves! Showbiz amirite, bay-bee! Week In Revue was a weekly show featuring 'Brian', Jenna Stoeber, and Brian's childhood best friend, Scrundler. Good Cheap Games is an ongoing(?) series where 'Brian' talks about cheap and/or free games. JackBox FMV Quest Awful Squad Quotes "And here, Link has another midlife crisis, but this one is my favorite because instead of trying to stop a moon or hanging out with pirates, he just gets really into fashion in tri-force heroes, which is what I plan to do in my midlife crisis." ''- Unraveled, Episode 1: Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes'' "So we have adult link, child link, and basketball" ''- Unraveled, Episode 1: Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes'' "LEGEND OF ZELDA MONOPOLY. THE MOST IMPORTANT LEGEND OF ZELDA GAME." ''- Unraveled, Episode 1: Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes'' "REGGIE TAKE FUCKING NOTES. I JUST SAVED YOUR ASS WITH MONOPOLY" ''- Unraveled, Episode 1: Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 Minutes'' "With all the spell-casting and shouting you must do as Dragonborn, who really has time to read all these books? I do. Apparently." ''- Unraveled, Episode 2: I read all 337 books in Skyrim so you don't have to'' "Where did toad man go? Where's my guy toad man?" ''- Unraveled, Episode 3: Ranking all 200+ Mega Man robots'' "Snake man" ''- Unraveled, Episode 3: Ranking all 200+ Mega Man robots'' "That hyena can get it!" - Unraveled, Episode 4: I wasted 3 weeks of my life finding Castlevania's hottest monster "And if you'll excuse me, I have to go do my dark bidding in these spreadsheets" - Unraveled, Episode 6: Scientifically calculating the game of the year "EITHER SONIC IS A GOD, OR COULD KILL GOD, AND I DO NOT CARE IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE" - Unraveled, Episode 7: Every Sonic game is blasphemous "God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished." - Unraveled, Episode 9: Bowser's military hierarchy "Why do piranha plant have bone in it?" - Unraveled, Episode 9: Bowser's military hierarchy "If I can't be accurate, I sure as hell am gonna be extra" - Unraveled, Episode 14: We made all 78 Breath of the Wild recipies in one day "Your value is not defined by the size or shape of your body...It's about what you do with the body you're given." - Unraveled, Episode 15: Calculate your pet's HP with my 100% legitimate formula Other places you can find Brian He has his own channel called Brian David Gilbert with good lore and quality videos. 'Brian' and his friend Jonah have a band called “The Altogether” which you can listen to on Spotify or on their channel, The Altogether. Let's Make a Music, a podcast where 'Brian', Jonah, and Laura created music based on listener input. Thumbnail by Louie Zong, where he sang lead vocals. Episode 147 of Woodland Secrets. An episode of Drawfee. An episode of Weird Rules on SBNation. Episode 5 of Abby dearest. Category:Polygon Person